I was raised in a family with little compliments and almost no praise given to one another. I remembered being compared and feeling being put down most of the the time. My mother would remark:”Why can’t you swim like your sister?”, “How come people can do this, you can’t?”. Internally, my inner voice would tell me “Why can’t I be as popular as my classmates?” Once, my teacher in class ridiculed me infront of my whole class, “you speak like from the animal’s ass” when I broke voice (turning puberty) while reading a passage.
Before finishing my Primary school education, I was already certain that “I will never be good enough”.
The abyss of Not Good Enough was deep and drowning me. I found a coping mechanism whenever I didn’t feel good and needed an escape from this world. I “hide” in the storeroom of my house. Soon the abyss became a comfortable place to be, where I stayed enclosed and safe. Nothing could hurt me there. I developed a keen observations of all the items in the storeroom. Many occasions, I have helped my mother located and retrieved forgottened items in the storeroom. In one sense, it gave me the power of usefulness and goodness. However, it also became a fuel to further “hide in the closet”.
The Call to step out of the “closet” was a journey of finding Courage when I discover the power of being Authentic. I can be who I am. I don’t need to live for the expectation of people or trying to please anyone. This takes away the need to compare with others, to attain the results of others’ expectation – most importantly, it takes away the “never” in “I will never be good enough”. Now “I will be good enough”!
This Hero’s Journey was not an easy one for me because it really, really needed me to be courageous to admit that I have weaknesses, limitations, imperfection etc., but these are what make me who I am. Once I realised that they were my authentic flaws, then I can own them and thus I can change them.
As a Co-Active Coach, I believed that everyone is naturally creative, resourceful and whole. Through Co-Active coaching, I will connect you to your own Hero’s Journey to discover the Authentic You, the real person within, and the real person that you want to be. Transformation and Change will be possible because you are the Author of your own Change.